When your body begins to fail you, and every day tasks become a burdensome challenge you can no longer meet, it’s time to ask for help. Understandably, you don’t want to seem demanding or worse weak. However, you shouldn’t worry about this as asking for help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness, and most of your family and friends are more than willing to help if you will just ask. So, without further ado, let’s examine how you can ask for much needed help, either physically or emotionally, without being demanding:
Follow Up on Offers of Help
One way to ensure you aren’t demanding is not having to ask in the first place. There are likely many people in your life who have uttered the phrase “well, if you need help, or you need something, let me know.” So…have you let them know? Have you given them specific jobs they can do to help you? Psychology Today says the following about people offering to help you:
- Most offers are sincere. They want to help. They mean it.
- The responsibility is yours to tell your loved ones what they can do to help you.
- The easiest way for you to actually get the help you need is give these volunteers specific tasks.
Be Appreciative When You Get Help
When someone does show up and help you complete a chore or task that has become difficult for you to complete, be appreciative. Don’t act as if they “have” to provide you this service. Yes, perhaps, in your younger years, you gave graciously to that person, and they might in fact “owe” you. However, don’t allow that to come into play in your present situation. Instead, wipe the slate clean and extoll a great deal of gratitude on anyone who gives up their own time to come help.
Give Compensation if Possible
If you can afford to pay them, that is of course that much better. Many times, younger people need extra money for odds and ins, so giving them a little bit of money, even if it’s not much, will likely help them out. It will also make the “favor” more of you paying them for doing a job. Also, don’t mention how much they haven’t done or have neglected you while they are trying to help you in the present. Above all, your attitude will make them feel valued or abused, so be sure you convey your true feelings of appreciativeness.
Be Flexible
When loved ones work full time, take care of a family including kids and have their own households to oversee and maintain, their free time is sparse. Therefore, if you need them to come over and help you with a chore or household task, you must be patient and flexible, understanding that they won’t always be able to “get right to” something due to their schedule.
Be Honest About Needs
Speak up. Tell your loved ones you need help, emotionally or physically. Your family and friends love you. This means they do want to help you. In most cases, you only have to share your need, and they will begin working to rectify the issue. Don’t hesitate and remain in a state of loneliness when there is no reason to be there. You have built of life of value and are cherished by those you love. Now, let them have a turn giving back to you, just a piece of what you gave your entire life.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-straw-gold/201106/how-ask-help
